20 Life Lessons from a 12-Year-Old Boy

What goes through the mind of a 12-year-old boy? What’s important to him? What’s unimportant to him?

Photo courtesy of Dollar Photo Club/SergiyN

This is my attempt to get inside his mind. It’s a combination of my recollection from growing up and my observations from working with middle schoolers. Here’s what I think a 12-year-old boy would say if you asked him to share life lessons that are important to him:

  1. The 5 main food groups are Mountain Dew, Skittles, pizza, McDonald’s, and cookies.
  2. iPhones are a lifesaver. Mine has allowed me to avoid so many potential opportunities to interact with real people.
  3. The best school subjects are lunch and recess. I wish we still had recess.
  4. Showers are a waste of water. Are they really that important?
  5. If you wear your boxers inside-out it doubles the amount of time before they need to get washed.
  6. Capture the flag and dodgeball are officially the greatest games ever invented. How could anyone ever tire of playing them?
  7. The best thing to do with friends is nothing. By “nothing” I actually mean we had a lot of fun but I don’t want to take the mental energy to recall exactly what we did, so don’t bother asking.
  8. When I grow up I want to be a video game designer. If that doesn’t work out I’ll be an NFL or NBA player.
  9. Girls are…wait, who are they? I think we read about them in science class one time.
  10. It’s so annoying when my mom badgers me with questions about how my life is going. It’s like she cares about me and wants to talk to me or something.
  11. It doesn’t matter what you write in my birthday card or how meaningful it is. All I care about is the actual present.
  12. My mom and dad are cool, but I can’t decide what I need more: their protection or my independence. Those two competing desires aren’t going to cause any issues over the next few years, are they?
  13. I love deep conversations with adults where I can clearly articulate my inner cognitive and emotional life. Just kidding. That was a funny joke, wasn’t it?!?
  14. Marriage? Ew. Gross. Who would ever want to do that?
  15. When you go to a sleepover you should talk a big game and say you’ll stay up all night, even if you’ll end up getting tired and falling asleep around 9:30 pm.
  16. There is a fine line between a prank and vandalism and I don’t quite understand the difference between the two.
  17. Did you know it’s possible to take any random object and create a fun game utilizing that object? I’m really good at that.
  18. Don’t mess with 12-year-old girls, especially when they are all bigger than you.
  19. Summer is by far the best time of the year. Why do we have to go to school, anyway? Life would be way better if it was always summer.
  20. One time I sat still for more than 5 minutes but it was really difficult to not move for that long!