There’s a lot to cover when you talk to kids about sex. Anatomy and physiology. Sexual intercourse. Sexual acts between two people that aren’t intercourse. The emotional and spiritual side. STDs. Birth control. Sexual ethics. Pornography. What is and is not appropriate in a dating relationship.
Don’t get overwhelmed—you don’t have to cover everything in one conversation! As you have multiple conversations with kids over the years about sex, it would be helpful to keep an overarching theme in mind. A theme that ties everything together and serves as an undercurrent to everything you say.
Here’s the theme I hope you sprinkle throughout all your sex talks. From the first conversation to the last, teach your kids that sex is a good thing that was created by God. Sex is awesome. It’s beautiful. It’s powerful.
That’s the truth, right? I know sex can be destructive and cause great emotional wounds, but that’s usually because we mess up by using sex in ways God didn’t intend. Plus we live in a broken world.
Keeping this as a central theme accomplishes three things:
- It corrects the view of sex that commonly gets portrayed in general culture. Sex is often shown as being naughty, sneaky, self-centered, forbidden, and merely for physical pleasure, . Which makes kids more curious about sex than they normally would be. Admitting that sex is good disarms a lot of the societal tension, confusion, and anxiety surrounding sex.
- It corrects the view of sex that commonly gets portrayed in churches. In an effort to keep kids away from sexual activity, churches often communicate a message to teens that says, “Sex is bad! Stay away from it!” It’s good for churches to encourage kids to avoid sex. But kids shouldn’t enter adulthood thinking sex is bad, because it’s not. As long as we understand and use sex correctly.
- It puts other topics related to sex in context. Knowing that sex is a good thing created by God will help kids understand the value of waiting until marriage for intercourse. It will help them understand why things like pornography are wrong. It will help them understand why sex is such an important part of our lives.
You don’t have to flat-out say, “Sex is good!” whenever you have a sex talk. Please don’t. Your kids will probably start to roll their eyes at you whenever you say it. But do keep that theme in mind whenever sex comes up.
Because sex is a good thing that was created by God. And it’s a great thing when adults take ownership of helping kids understand how sex is good.